by Matt Neff, Willy West Cheese Coordinator
Ah, entertaining during the holidays: the joyful task of navigating palates, preferences, and politics in the comfort of your own castle while surrounded by those most near and dear to you. A chance to roll out the red carpet of your soul, affectionately weaponize your kitchen-savvy ways, and knock ’em dead with your cooking, conviviality, and tasteful decor before they know what hit ’em. POW! “Take that, Aunt Susie!” you’ll say to yourself.
Stress-inducing for some, the process can be eased with a natural social lubricant: cheese, and cheese-like foods. In the land of the cheese-eaters, one risks dishonor, exile, and the disapproval of the commoners by refusing to serve that pillar of the American diet so enjoyed by young and old alike. So how to wow with the stuff from a cow?
Cheeseboards and platters are undoubtedly the classy go-to option for the self-respecting home entertainer. Who doesn’t love entering a holiday soiree and spotting a gorgeous smorgasbord of intriguing fromage et formaggio, ranging from the familiar and comforting to the unique and exciting? If your guests don’t notice your spread immediately, position yourself next to it and loudly and repeatedly clear your throat until the praise washes down your face and neck.
When serving cheeses on a board or platter, consider variety and complementarity. Weigh the qualities of each cheese and how well your selections balance each other. Sweet and nutty, opposite sharp and piquant? Fresh and tangy, opposite stanky and bleu? Will you be serving fruit, nuts, olives, crackers, bread, wine, and/or charcuterie as well? If you intuitively consider the big picture of everything you’re offering, you too, can balance the yin and yang of your brie and brick. One doesn’t need twenty cheeses, either—even a modest variety of two to three cheeses can make a cheeseboard fun and interesting. A few favorites, local and otherwise, that we suggest.
Hook’s 15-year cheddar
Hook’s Cheddar is ubiquitous in Wisconsin and comes in a variety of ages. Their 15-year cheddar, a seasonal offering at the Coop, is as crumbly, sharp and savory as one might expect. Your guests will be wowed by the marvelous feat of eating such an ancient foodstuff and getting away with it.
Dreamfarm fresh goat cheese spreads (chevre)
Dreamfarm is a gem of a small organic family dairy farm nestled in the hilly beauty of Cross Plains, Wisconsin. The chevre they produce is superb, super-fresh, and as local as it gets. These cheeses are seasonal, so get them while supplies last!
Alemar Boom Island/Bent River Camembert-style cheese & Blue Earth American brie
Made in Minneapolis, these artisanal soft-ripened cheeses are too good to be true. Made from local grassfed milk, they have a soft, rich subtlety that is pretty great.
Deer Creek Moon Rabbit
A unique and unusual Wisconsin cheddar with a rind bathed in green chartreuse, infusing the cheese with rich flavor. This cheese will be on Owner Rewards: 11/27/23–12/3/23.
Lincet Delice de Bourgogne
A wonderful brie from the Ile-de-France, rich and smooth with an earthy, delicate aroma and notes of mushrooms. It pairs well with Champagne and other sparkling wines.
Red Barn Cupola
A nutty, sweet aged cheese that falls somewhere between a cheddar and gouda, available in one-year and three-year versions, from Red Barn Family Farms, a Fair-Trade and animal welfare-minded group of cheesemakers based in Appleton, Wisconsin. This cheese will be on Owner Rewards: 11/20/23–11/26/23.
Carr Valley Glacier Wildfire
A unique, mild, and approachable blue cheese made in Wisconsin, it has pepperoncini peppers throughout that lend beautiful speckles and a hint of heat.
Hidden Springs Farmstead Feta
A rich, crumbly, very nice sheep milk’s feta from Hidden Springs Creamery, a wonderful farmstead sheep’s milk dairy in the Driftless region.
Not everyone is necessarily inclined to maroon their cheese on a wooden board to languish in the glow of the holiday cheer. Cheese has many other places and uses in a holiday entertainer’s repertoire apart from cheeseboards, including but not limited to:
Fondue
Melt together Swiss, Gruyere, and other semi-soft meltables like Jack or Fontina. Some varieties you could consider: Carr Valley Fontina, and the 2-4 or 6-9 month aged Marieke Goudas. Also, we have the Swiss cave aged gruyere, but a good local (and cheaper) sub would be the Roth Grand Cru cheeses Marieke Gouda Plain Mature Gouda 6-9 Months weight.
Casserole, quiche, frittata, and/or hot dishes
Savory grating cheeses will shine here. Parmigiano Reggiano, Pecorino Romano, Gruyere, or aged Cheddar.
In desserts, or as dessert: Cheesecake or tart is an obvious option (usually employing cream cheese and/or mascarpone), but you might also consider serving cheese as a dessert course, in the European style. A drizzle of honey will turn just about any cheese into dessert.
A final consideration: will your gathering be attended by guests who have hard dietary restrictions and/or preferences? A wealth of options exist. For lactose-intolerant guests, it’s worth knowing that cheeses aged 10+ months are generally lactose-free. Most cheese is naturally gluten-free, but according to the Celiac Disease Foundation, it’s a good idea to check the label, particularly with processed cheese foods like spreads—some contain beer made from wheat.
For your veggie friends, know that some cheeses are not considered vegetarian or vegan due to the use of animal rennet as a coagulation agent—be sure to check the label to see whether vegetarian or microbial rennet is specified in the ingredients.
Cheeseless
Speaking of vegan and vegetarian guests, have you considered throwing in with those lunatics and going meatless on your snack platter this year, and/or —gasp— cheeseless? It helps the environment and the climate, and you may just discover that some vegan cheeses are actually worth eating. The best in my book are those by Miyoko’s Creamery, based in Petaluma, CA. Made from cashew milk and coconut oil, they are firm, creamy and delicious, and beloved by many hardcore vegans I’ve met. I suggest their Double Cream Garlic-Herb Nut Cheese or their Double Cream Chive Nut Cheese.
Congratulations! You have been armed with some cheese-based holiday entertaining ideas. At this point, metaphorically speaking, you’ve made your way through the fire swamp intact and have beaten off any rodents of unusual size with your wits and fists alone. Kick back, crack open a beer or your beverage of choice and repeat after me: Hakuna Matata. And Happy Holidays!
P.S. If you’re still feeling uncertain about selections and pairings when you get to the store, feel free to ask one of our knowledgeable cheese staff for help! We’re always happy to help you build out your ideal planche de fromage or charcuterie board!
